Notes From Johannes: Flirting As A Form Of Encouragement
Johannes has always been a fun conversation partner. And he also has over 100 notes in his phone that he sometimes reads for fun, but that ‘sometimes’ often turns into ‘never’. So I invited him to a Picnic (i.e. to share some of the raw writings from his Notes).
Most of us arent who they want to be. Sometimes all we need is a little encouragement.
I always found flirting to be one of the most interesting (and fun) things out there. Maybe I am only trying to justify my actions but maybe there is some value in thinking about flirting differently.
First they can play characters. They can be whoever they want to be. That's a kind of freedom that we often dont have with our family or friends as they know us for too long. It might be hard to try new things if all our friends are stuck with an old perception of us.
But we can let them be dreamers and sometimes that's all the motivation they need to pursue these dreams and characters they are playing. We can encourage them on things their friends sometimes sadly wont, it is easy for us because we dont really know how mediocre they are at painting or how much they procrastinate with their writing. In a way we are naive to believe in their best sides, but this encourages them to be more like that.
The other thing about flirting is making the other person feel wanted and accepted. By promising that they are worthy of sex. We wont actually have sex with them, but we can give them a taste of the acceptance that comes from having sex with someone. We dont even have to face our insecurities because again we dont even have to have sex. We can feel accepted even without overcoming our anxieties with our bodies or sex life.
"Good flirting is in essence an attempt, driven by kindness and imaginative excitement, to inspire another person to believe more firmly in their own likability, psychological as much as physical." - Someone smarter than me
So yeah I believe if both parties understood this, we could see the beauty of flirting. The beauty of strangers appreciating and encouraging each other to love oneself more.
- Johannes
I have never contemplated flirting, but it makes it more fun when you do. (And so are people when you give them a chance to share what’s happening in their head.)
